It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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