You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
