But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I think im going to throw up on grandma
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We left the knife in your bed.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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