For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize