Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I can't put those talents on a resume
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
