You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
