I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
