when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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