Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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