Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
why is half of my head shaved?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
