We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think I sprained my soul last night
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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