You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
