i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
