I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
