oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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