You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think a kid would responsible me up
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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