pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
