return my video game
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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