i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
