not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize