hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
