That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
