i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
