I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
