Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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