well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
