Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
