We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
