im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
