i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm too high and old for this...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
