Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
