It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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