I think I am morally bankrupt
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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