Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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