It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
