I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize