Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
