I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
