LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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