I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
