i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
