Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize