It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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