I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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