A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
