It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I won't apologize to a one balled man
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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