FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
