seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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