She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
