Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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