Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize