I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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