when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
