My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
