Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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