remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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