It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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