wakey wakey hands off snakey
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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