pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I need to wash the frat house off of me
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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