I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
