I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
