Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
